Beans Loves the Sunroof of My New Car

I'm Sort of Back

Inokashira Park, Kichijoji, Tokyo

Hello? Anyone there?

I've been trying to sort out my life for the past several months. Omar and I went on a great trip to Japan in December (pictures to follow). Then there was Christmas. Then on January 6th I was downsized from my job. Thanks, job, for making me think I had enough money to go on an expensive trip and then laying me off right after I spent all this money on presents! Also, I crashed my car.

But things are starting to look up. I have a new (used) car, but still no job. I have taken up yoga. I'm reading more. And there will probably be an announcement in the next couple of months. A big one. (No, I am not pregnant, and note to strangers who keep asking me if I am: I just happen to have big boobs and like empire waist dresses!)

Yes We Can!

I am so proud to be an American.

Wha?

Has anyone else ever had this problem?

I work at a small company and, among other things, I answer the phones and route all calls from the main line. A few months ago I got a call from a telemarketer (you know how you can hear that they are calling from a giant room with other telemarketers around them talking on the phone?).
Anyway, he asked me for someone who's name I did not recognize and I told him there was no one by that name at our company. Then he was all "well, maybe it's his wife." ???? And kept pushing me to find someone who I had no idea about. So I asked him "Who's calling please" because maybe I could figure out where to route him so he could be better helped. And he said "Well, who are you?"

???

WHA????

And this went around in circles until he finally mumbled his supposed name (Jerkface McBoogers, I presume) and of course I couldn't hear him and asked him to please spell it and he said "It's spelled exactly how you spell you name. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"

Uh. So I transferred him off to someone who is way better at dealing with jerks and she told him off and to not call back. End of story, right? RIGHT?

NO.

I got a call just now from a telemarketer who asked me for another person I didn't know of. Usually when I tell a telemarketer I don't know who they are asking about, that is the end of things because they realize they will not get anywhere. But no. This guy got pushy with me and then was all "Who are you". At which point I realized who I was dealing with (why did he call again!) and responded "Who's calling please?" because, really, any legitimate person is going to identify themselves, right?

This went around in circles for a while until he blew up at me and YELLED (seriously, he actually yelled) "OH, COME ON!!!! BLAH BLAH SOMETHING SOMETHING..." Bitch, please.

I disconnected him.

Now I realize that I may be getting a call from this idiot every few months.


My question to you is:

What the hell is he doing?! Does this creepy-aggressive routine really work on people? Is that the best way to do business? What makes me the MOST angry is that I get the feeling that these scary intimidation tactics are how he approaches the people he calls if they are women. Like I'm stupid enough to transfer him to the president of the company when he won't even identify himself just because he yells at me. Which makes me wonder how he treats the women in his real life, assuming there are any (Probably not!). And all this makes me feel very Second-Wave Feminist and I also want to smash his sexist face down hard. But as he never tells me WHO THE HELL HE IS or WHAT THE HELL COMPANY HE WORK FOR I cannot GET HIS ASS FIRED for being an incompetent boob.

Crafting post to come, I swear.

My Garden

I have a few planters on my deck and after a month or two, these California poppies finally started to bloom!



You can also see a bell pepper growing on this plant! There's a few more smaller ones on the other side.

This Means War

*this is not our oven

Our oven is totally possessed and evil. It has been acting up lately and only turning on sometimes, when it wants to. Now it is only broiling or something even when you set it to bake. It completely burns the top of stuff while the middle is still raw. Last night I was trying to bake a "lighter Pineapple Upside Down Cake" from a recent issue of Everyday Food and after all the preparation and flitting around the kitchen and chopping up a whole pineapple, the oven ruined my cake. I thought it was done, though kind of burnt, when I pulled it out to cool (the top was BLACK). But when I cut into it, the rest was LIQUID BATTER. I can't tell you how traumatic this was for me, seriously. I kept replaying it my mind like if I had seen body parts on the street after a car accident or something. After baking for 45 minutes, my cake was still batter (and also burned). I can't get over it. I also somehow accidentally baked a scratch ticket into the cake (?). Omar was searching all over the house for it, and he SWORE that he handed it to me. I do not remember this, but obviously I had it at some point because I BAKED IT INTO MY CAKE. Go figure.

Although the cake ended up in the trash, the ticket was miraculously salvageable. Omar said he rinsed it off and toasted it in the toaster oven (is this really a good idea?). We didn't win anything.

New Sunglasses

They were like, $10 at Urban Outfitters. I love you new old lady sunglasses! Yes, I am wearing two pairs of glasses. That is how I roll. Sometimes when I am driving I wear sunglasses over my perscription glasses so I can see and (not) look cool at the same time. Whatever, Vogue seems to like it.



Make your own ridiculous pictures

I also love Angry Chicken.